+Phobia_Parade+ (phobia_parade) wrote,

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I bled again.

There was blood in my urine again yesterday.

God damn it. I need to have blood work done. and X-rays.
What if I'm sick? Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Why the fuck am I bleeding?
My doctor told me it wouldn't happen again...

Everytime this happens I feel so fatigued..I ended up falling asleep at Jon's party last night and having to go sleep on a couch in his god damn breeze way until he woke me up for dinner.
I went to the city with my father and Roxanne today to look at the BODIES exhibit and fell half asleep against a fricking wall...then I slept for the entire car ride home.

I can't take much more of this...just sitting up right is an effort, and this only ever happens when I bleed like this!

Not to mention all the weight I'm losing. Since I'm not allowed near scales I'm not sure how much it is exactly, but all my clothes fit wrong...All my skirts are huge around my hips and I noticed a bone in my wrist jutting out just a little too far. I just...don't have enough energy to eat...and everytime I do I just feel sick afterwards. Still- that doesn't explain the sudden weight loss. My Health Care specialist told me it was side effects of 'being a teenager'
Um. Yeah. I know a lot of teenagers who bleed when they piss.

I'm going to another doctor on monday to schedule an appointment for the Xrays + blood work.

I'm so godamn afraid of needles...

I just...can't deal with any of this anymore..
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